Selling your Best self: Communication Style Flexing

A quick guide to communication styles and style flexing

Published November 20th, 2023

By Lara Holland

What is your communication style? Why use selling strategies in your everyday life? How can you avoid conflict and solve problems? Keep reading to learn about communication style flexing...

Every person has their own communication style.

There are countless personality tests out there claiming that all people will fit into one of just 16 types. The 4 Communication Styles may tell you more about yourself than the other types because they freely flex. Although people most clearly fall into one category, it is a wise selling strategy to go back and forth based on other people's communication styles.

How to find out your communication style

The simplest way to figure out your communication style is to decide which description fits you best. You can also take a quick personality quiz to find out how many styles you might relate to.

Emotive Communication Style:

• Characteristics: Emotionally expressive, empathetic, and sensitive.

• Communication Approach: Focuses on feelings, personal experiences, and the emotional aspects of a message. Emotive communicators often use expressive language and body language to convey their emotions and connect with others on a personal level.

Directive Communication Style:

• Characteristics: Decisive, assertive, and goal-oriented.

• Communication Approach: Direct and to the point, directive communicators are clear about their expectations and preferences. They often provide specific instructions, make decisions efficiently, and prioritize task-oriented communication. This style is commonly associated with leadership and a focus on results.

Supportive Communication Style:

• Characteristics: Empathetic, understanding, and approachable.

• Communication Approach: Prioritizes building relationships, fostering collaboration, and creating a supportive environment. Supportive communicators are good listeners, offer encouragement, and seek to understand others' perspectives. They often use positive language and gestures to create a sense of camaraderie.

Reflective Communication Style:

• Characteristics: Thoughtful, analytical, and contemplative.

• Communication Approach: Involves careful consideration of information, ideas, and perspectives. Reflective communicators often take their time to respond, thinking before speaking. They may ask questions to gain deeper insights and are open to exploring various viewpoints. This style is associated with a focus on analysis and thoughtful decision-making.

OpenAI. (2023, November 20). Descriptions of Communication Styles. ChatGPT. https://www.openai.com/chatgpt

How to figure out other people's communication style

Figuring out how other people communicate requires a bit of experience interacting with the person. A friend you have known for years would be easy to figure out, but meeting someone for the first time can be tricky.

A great selling strategy that can be used just to form strong relationships with new acquaintances is simple: listen. Ask questions about the other person and find out if they value the same things as you. Telling crude jokes right away may not get the best response from everyone. Instead, ask people where they are from and if/why they enjoyed living there.

Manning, G. L., Reece, B. L., & Muhney, M. (2004). Selling Today. Pearson/Prentice Hall.

Style Flexing

Develop the skill of asking questions to figure out the best way to interact and you will have already started style flexing! Style flexing is utilizing the range of sociability and dominance common in social interactions. Do you tend to take the lead too much in a conversation? Try a more supportive communication style to let the other person feel heard.

There is also dangerous territory of utilizing communication styles in excess. This is commonly seen with emotive types who talk over everyone and never listen. Sometimes, a directive type in excess will explode in anger and act inappropriately out of frustration. A Reflective type may face too much stress from a social party or meeting and retreat into the corner, unresponsive.

Whatever style you prefer, try integrating different styles into your daily interactions to prevent conflict. Sometimes even someone who feels shy often can style flex if your members in a group project may need a little push. If taking the lead doesn't solve your problems faster, perhaps listening more will prevent misunderstanding and conflict between people.

Listen to the people you interact with, find out what your team needs, and use style flexing to accomplish your everyday goals!

Learning Outcome

Significant Learning Outcome 6: Learning How to Learn

• Have learned about their own communication style and use that knowledge to

improve future relationships